He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
