Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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