I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
