everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The air taste purple.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
