i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
