He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
