I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
