I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
