My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
