my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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