Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
