her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Michael Bay diarrhea
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
