I'm gonna have a badass scar
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
