So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
