Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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