..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
