Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
