Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
