dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
