i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
