I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
