I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
