SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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