so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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