My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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