I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
