I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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