im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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