Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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