Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
