My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
