Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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