it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
