I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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