the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
