should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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