can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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