Sponge bath it is.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
