you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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