Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
