i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
