So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
