Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
