You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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