I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
