"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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