I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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