Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize