he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
