All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
